Texas or bust

Texas today!

I woke early to beat the crowds of bikers attending the big event in the Ozarks, bad timing on my part.  I enjoyed a lonely road of switchbacks and hills exiting the Ozarks.  I made it to Fort Smith at the appropriate waffle time—hey, I’m in the Bible Belt and Waffle Ward.  I ordered a waffle and two eggs, “That’s all you want darlin’?” Ms. Waffle responded.

“Yes, please.”

She kind of flopped her pad over on her hip and held up her pencil like a sword, “Shucks, honey, that ain’t enough fixin’s to fill a rose pedal.”

I offered up a guilty smile, as if to say, my testicles were removed at birth, and shrugged.  I looked around for an accomplice or an ally, but the two teenage girls in the next booth hovered over plates piled high with hash browns, toast, eggs, bacon, and grits atop a waffle like a junk on a garbage heap.  I wolfed-down my $5 breakfast and headed out on the road.

Tom, my trusting navigator, gave me another day of dirt roads.  About 60 miles worth, but it was a whole lot more enjoyable than the interstate—although the traffic moves faster, the aggravation percolates up like stink in a manure pile, and the aggression is that of too many rats in a box.  I enjoyed the ride and saw a small turtle on the yellow line, crossing the road.  If I wasn’t in a turn doing 50, I would’ve stopped to get the little critter across before someone had the chance to flatten him.  Into Oklahoma I noticed a strong smell of sweet something, a cross between campfire and potpourri.  I was surprised at how hilly and wooded the landscape was in this region of Arkansas and Oklahoma.

I stopped in Kinka, OK for a break and cigar in the shade of an oak tree dropping acorns.  I watched the locals from my vantage point, interacting at the only store in town, and E-Z Shop.  I checked Tom for time/distance, turned off the “Thrill Ride” and would make the final push to Denton, TX to visit Steve Pilo of San Diego Harry’s fame.  This brought me back to Route 62, a major four lane.  However, after the third delay with construction, threatening semi’s, angry commuters, and the 80 mph speed, I pulled off in Durant, OK for a Wendy’s spicy chicken salad.  I went back to Tom for another “Thrill Ride” and selected “Avoid Unpaved Roads.”  I was once again the lone traveler on the back roads, able to do 60+ mph to my destination.  I checked the campgrounds, but either they had no tent sites or no shade for tents.  It was in the 90’s so I copped out for a Motel 6 at $50/night.  Now I know that my riding suit has endured some very hot temperatures and would probably not be very attractive to Rachelle, but when I walked into Motel 6 lobby I was hit by a Mack truck of horrendous odor wafting in the air like Charleston tear gas, coming from Mashu Abbuisti, the clerk behind the counter.

I got to my room and cranked the AC down ten degrees from the 79 setting.  After a shower and a little down time, Steve came in his diesel behemoth and took me to Outback Steakhouse.  Afterwards, we enjoyed cigars at the Cigar Frog Lounge.  That ends my first night in Texas, tomorrow I’ll have to get my cowboy boots and hat to fit in.